I have had this revealed to me...that there is no way I'd live the typical American life.
With saying "typical American life" I mean working a job 5 days a week for 10 hours each day with a job that gets boring and monotonous eventually. I'm not saying that's how all people feel about their job, and I'm not saying those people shouldn't have those jobs...because certain people are needed for those certain jobs. I just believe that that isn't for me. I haven't been able to picture myself having to worry about money each day, and coffee being what sustains me, and the person I'm married to eventually becoming just that person that sleeps on the other side of my bed every night. And I definitely CANNOT see myself growing old and retiring...sitting around the house all day trying to enjoy little hobbies, barely able to move without hurting, and being wrinkly all over.
I have found that that lifestyle is not going to satisfy me. I want every single area of my life to bring me joy. I want to live humbly for my God's kingdom.
I can see myself having new experiences and meeting many new people who share my passion for Christ, and are more passionate. I can see myself being inspired by others around me, and inspiring others around me. I can see myself not living in good conditions and not having much money, but being so joyful nevertheless. I can see myself making lasting relationships with people I encounter in other countries. I can see myself exploring and being put in different cultures where I have to learn to adapt. I can see many tears brought to my eyes, but out of those tears, a joy that grows more and more through each trial. I can see being a part of a great movement that will spread. I can see myself speaking at least one different language to speak to other people of that language.
And I can see myself dying relatively young for working so hard for God.
I have much more of a desire for these things. I want to be put in situations where I will be humbled, and will become more obedient to Christ. I want to live in light of eternity...and not for this world that I perceive with my senses.
I want to step out of the lives that others have just continued from older generations...and I want to live for Christ, and Christ alone.
I want to learn to love Him so much, that nothing will take my eyes off of Him.
Though I have a long way to go, I am not discouraged...for since I have such a desire for this lifestyle, I am confident that eventually that desire will get me to where I want and need to be for my Father in heaven.
