Oh, it's magic!

The 4th of July has brought back memories from my childhood. It's one of those days of the year that I look back on, and see how gradually I've seemed to anticipate it less and less. Sometimes I am sad about this reality, but if I look deeper at why this is, I don't mind it as much.

As a kid I remember my siblings and I being so excited to shoot off fire crackers. To blow up some of our toys, and be daring pyro's with the fire crackers (Which led to them exploding in our hands sometimes). We would whine at the fact that it wasn't legal to shoot them off until the 3rd of July, and when the 3rd finally came, we got up early in the morning in anticipation, and waited for our parents to tell us when we could go ahead and go outside to shoot off our firecrackers.

I remembering being so excited for night time to come on the 4th of July, where I would stare at the sky in absolute awe. We had fun little traditions, like shooting out the street light with roman candles. I would get so excited when it came to my turn to light off one of the big fireworks.

Things like fireworks were so magical to me as a kid...and they enticed me. I think it's because I didn't understand how lighting a fuze could produce so many different outcomes. Not understanding them added to the wonder of them.

As I started to get older, the butterflies I would feel in my stomach that made me so excited became something that would make me feel sick, so I always tried to keep my mind off of things so as not to get so excited about them that it would make me sick. Also, at times when I was so excited for something, and it didn't end up getting fulfilled, I would get severely disappointed.

Over the years, I believe I've been gaining more joy from experiences in my life rather than mere happiness. Fireworks make me happy. Maybe not to the same extent as they did when I was a kid, but I believe it's because my passions and desires have been rooted deeper into things more meaningful. Things that I have gotten so excited and upset over as a child I have enjoyed (though not nearly as much as I use to) without much disappointment.

My passions have shifted onto more meaningful things that bring me great joy that overflows. They are joys I wasn't able to feel as a child. I look upon the Cross in awe and wonder I had as a child, but also with joy. The work of Christ on Calvary isn't something we can fully grasp (like we can grasp the concept of fireworks)...but that's what adds to the wonder of it.

I thank my Lord for the times I can look back on my childhood, and all the wonderful memories of excitement towards things like the 4th of July. I use to look back on it and wish I could go back to the same perspective I had as a kid, until I realize that I am in the same kind of awe and wonder of the things of Christ that aren't mere magical feelings...but also has it's roots in joy and in love.