Home sweet home...

I have gotten a couple of chuckles from people when they've said things like, "It's not safe to stay there," or, "You wouldn't want to live in a place like that."
Really, I'd rather live humbly. When I am humbled, there I find the most joy...like when I lived in this house for a week:

I miss it there. I miss the dogs that lived on the roof that barked every time Liz and I went up those stairs on the right...and the little kittens and their mom on the stairs to meet me each morning. I miss the many nights of just talking with our family, sitting and watching TV with them, and the many nice breakfasts we had with them, complete with mora and cheese on toast. I even miss that rooster with an obnoxious crow that would stand right outside our bedroom window.

And of course I could never forget locking our keys in our room and resorting to getting them out with a long tube with wire on the end of it...as well as the "burgular" outside of mine and Liz's room.

So many memories with these people...

The Mission Field

It's been a month today since leaving Ecuador. Already my heart is aching to go back to missions. I'm remembering the words that I was told that I am not to consider either here or there my 'home', because my citizenship is actually in heaven...even though I felt I was at home in Ecuador then I had to leave that home behind. I am becoming more and more detached from this world each day though I believe. I have been minding less and less giving it up because as James says, what am I? I am a mist that briefly appears, then quickly vanishes. If I am going to be a mist, I will be a mist with a fragrant aroma. I'll be a mist that influences other mists. I'll be a mist that furthers the kingdom of God. If I do not, I live in vain and selfishly.

I want to feel that joy again that I felt in this picture. This sweet little girl lives such a different life from those kids in the US. I am blessed to be able to be her little playmate for just a few minutes...

I am looking into Story Runners, who translate the Bible into languages who don't have it, and have "Scripture servants" go to those unreached people who don't have it, and live among them and tell them stories from the Bible. This is what I want to do. Each mission term is two years. So right now, I'm still deciding whether I'm going to go straight into this, or go to college a couple of years. I've been teetering on each decision, but right now if I could, I would choose to go straight into the mission field. I'm praying about it, though.

I realized last night I do feel God is calling me to do this...I do not know for sure, but I was trying to picture myself leaving all of this behind, namely my life here in the United States. Also all my friends and my family. I realized I might come back and realize how much I've missed. Many things can happen in that amount of time. What if I come home to find that any of my siblings or my friends got married? What if someone I know dies, or comes down with a bad illness?

I know that I'll come back to find that everyone has been going on with life without me, then I will have to try to fit back in again somehow. I realize these things, but I also know that I wouldn't rather do anything else with my life. I have such a privilege to do something like this, and so I hope it does work out. Still, I can't help writing this without a heavy heart.....

Until later

April

Saying farewell never seemed so easy

Not too long from now, I'm going to be traveling abroad, serving my purpose.

I can't stand the way I'm living now. I need to be out there, doing what I'm called to do.

I guess I'm still in preparation. I can hardly stand it though.

I am willing to put whatever and whoever I need to put behind me. This world is vile, and its dragging me down.

Retrospect and Prospect

I've been having another one of those days. Actually it went from last night into today....

There are days I really look at my life in a different perspective. Instead of looking forward to things in the future, these are the days where I'm looking at my past, and thinking about how things flew past me up to this very moment. My years are starting to fly by. It's already near the end of 2010, it was just yesterday that the new year came. I had all these goals I was determined to complete...but I've only completed 11 out of 25. I realized that the limit on most of those things depended on my financial state. What a shame...

I was riding on the highway yesterday with Christian, and tried imagining all the cars and roads and lights not being there. I couldn't fathom that none of this use to exist.
I still find it hard to believe the position I was put in also in terms of time. I could have been placed in this world thousands of years ago...but instead I was placed in it when technology started advancing at full-speed, and people started neglecting their Creator more and more. I was put in a time period that the prophets in the Bible were talking about. I was put in a generation that beckons so much change, and I'm one of the few called to move against society's currents. I've been called to take that huge step out that most people won't. I've been put in a time period where all the creativity and originality has already been sucked out of the arts. We've already discovered what our souls desire in a good song or story. It's so finite that it seems nearly all of them are the same if you look at the underlying meanings of each song and story.

We've all just been passing the baton generation by generation.

My Life Decision

I have had this revealed to me...that there is no way I'd live the typical American life.

With saying "typical American life" I mean working a job 5 days a week for 10 hours each day with a job that gets boring and monotonous eventually. I'm not saying that's how all people feel about their job, and I'm not saying those people shouldn't have those jobs...because certain people are needed for those certain jobs. I just believe that that isn't for me. I haven't been able to picture myself having to worry about money each day, and coffee being what sustains me, and the person I'm married to eventually becoming just that person that sleeps on the other side of my bed every night. And I definitely CANNOT see myself growing old and retiring...sitting around the house all day trying to enjoy little hobbies, barely able to move without hurting, and being wrinkly all over.


I have found that that lifestyle is not going to satisfy me. I want every single area of my life to bring me joy. I want to live humbly for my God's kingdom.

I can see myself having new experiences and meeting many new people who share my passion for Christ, and are more passionate. I can see myself being inspired by others around me, and inspiring others around me. I can see myself not living in good conditions and not having much money, but being so joyful nevertheless. I can see myself making lasting relationships with people I encounter in other countries. I can see myself exploring and being put in different cultures where I have to learn to adapt. I can see many tears brought to my eyes, but out of those tears, a joy that grows more and more through each trial. I can see being a part of a great movement that will spread. I can see myself speaking at least one different language to speak to other people of that language.
And I can see myself dying relatively young for working so hard for God.

I have much more of a desire for these things. I want to be put in situations where I will be humbled, and will become more obedient to Christ. I want to live in light of eternity...and not for this world that I perceive with my senses.

I want to step out of the lives that others have just continued from older generations...and I want to live for Christ, and Christ alone.
I want to learn to love Him so much, that nothing will take my eyes off of Him.

Though I have a long way to go, I am not discouraged...for since I have such a desire for this lifestyle, I am confident that eventually that desire will get me to where I want and need to be for my Father in heaven.

Update on Goals

So...at last, I reached my $600 goal!



It might not get up to $900 for a while though. I have to pay for my mission trip and what-not. =(
But hopefully I can accumulate lots of money over the summer.

Also, I completed something on my list of 2010 goals! See if you can find which one it is:

It was...

"Go on a road trip"! I went to Branson. =) It was a pretty fun trip. I didn't take many pictures, but I took quite a few videos. Maybe I'll post them on here sometime.

Also, I've been wanting to build up a new wardrobe. I've realized that all my shirts are like 2 years old or older. O_o I haven't went shopping for new shirts for a while. I bought one shirt today, but I'm very proud of my purchase. I've been showing it to everyone. Check it out:

Isn't it so fricken pretty?
I want to get more shirts that are artistic looking.
I got this one at T.J. Maxx for only $10.
It can be a weird store to shop at, but they have many different styles of clothing, and great prices. This shirt has good quality, I don't think it will be disappearing from my wardrobe anytime soon.

Tomorrow, I'll be able to complete another thing on my list! I'm going to complete, "Go to my favorite restaurant at the plaza."
Which is, "Fogo de chao"! I'm going with Christian and Madison Yoder. Madison and I memorized Philippians and Christian memorized James, so we were able to choose where we wanted to go. I chose that place last year, and it was amazing. I really wanted to go there with Christian, but it's so expensive, so I really wanted to go there again to spare us the money out of our own pockets. =P A huge thanks to my youth pastor, Darin Diggs for providing this opportunity!



Lastly, today I just submitted an application to work with Merge next Summer. I'm way ahead on that, says the director, but oh well. I'm excited to. =) I need to study up on Spanish, big time!

My Fascination

If you know me well enough, you know I have a fascination with antiques. I have a small collection of old things...but I'm not going to invest much in my collection for now since I'm saving up for a car.Sometimes I really wish I was born in those times where they had all that cool looking stuff, but then I realized if I was, I wouldn't appreciate that stuff as much. One day I want to travel places that have old architecture...the old European architecture is what I like the most. If a man were to take me to London, he would immediately have my hand in marriage. ;-) Hahaha. I'm too lazy to post my whole collection of stuff on here...but that camera is mine. =) Pretty sweet huh?