Romanticize.

That's a word that's been in my head recently
....Romanticize.


I feel like all my life I've romanticized things about my life. It doesn't help when you have a mom that does it so much and sort of placed all these romantic ideas in my head growing up. But in a way I like this sort of romantic way I view my life.

I mean that I view my life as a story...and whenever certain things in my life unfold, I imagine the outcome of them to be something out of a book or a movie. Sometimes that's the way it works out, and as a result I end up feeling either surprisingly disappointed with it, or quite the opposite.

Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised with those ideas becoming reality, and the feelings I get are of overwhelming happiness and joy. Some of the time, I've even had this weird sort of feeling like my current reality wasn't real, because I have passed the point of being able to even imagine certain things or comprehend them in my mind.

But sometimes I realize that the way I play back things in my head isn't ever the same when it becomes reality.
It would seem I couldn't get disappointed with something becoming my reality that I've imagined the greatest possible outcome to, but that is the case a lot of the time. Sometimes I think it could be the result of dwelling on it so much that I am not surprised when it actually comes true....or maybe it's because when those things do unfold into reality, they don't seem the way I imagined they would.

It seems I can't ever get my head out of the clouds with all these ideas of mine..and some days I haven't been satisfied with my current story, namely my life. I need to adventure...I want my story to excite me each day. I want to get further into the plot.

I want someone to share my story with....