Retrospect and Prospect

I've been having another one of those days. Actually it went from last night into today....

There are days I really look at my life in a different perspective. Instead of looking forward to things in the future, these are the days where I'm looking at my past, and thinking about how things flew past me up to this very moment. My years are starting to fly by. It's already near the end of 2010, it was just yesterday that the new year came. I had all these goals I was determined to complete...but I've only completed 11 out of 25. I realized that the limit on most of those things depended on my financial state. What a shame...

I was riding on the highway yesterday with Christian, and tried imagining all the cars and roads and lights not being there. I couldn't fathom that none of this use to exist.
I still find it hard to believe the position I was put in also in terms of time. I could have been placed in this world thousands of years ago...but instead I was placed in it when technology started advancing at full-speed, and people started neglecting their Creator more and more. I was put in a time period that the prophets in the Bible were talking about. I was put in a generation that beckons so much change, and I'm one of the few called to move against society's currents. I've been called to take that huge step out that most people won't. I've been put in a time period where all the creativity and originality has already been sucked out of the arts. We've already discovered what our souls desire in a good song or story. It's so finite that it seems nearly all of them are the same if you look at the underlying meanings of each song and story.

We've all just been passing the baton generation by generation.

My Life Decision

I have had this revealed to me...that there is no way I'd live the typical American life.

With saying "typical American life" I mean working a job 5 days a week for 10 hours each day with a job that gets boring and monotonous eventually. I'm not saying that's how all people feel about their job, and I'm not saying those people shouldn't have those jobs...because certain people are needed for those certain jobs. I just believe that that isn't for me. I haven't been able to picture myself having to worry about money each day, and coffee being what sustains me, and the person I'm married to eventually becoming just that person that sleeps on the other side of my bed every night. And I definitely CANNOT see myself growing old and retiring...sitting around the house all day trying to enjoy little hobbies, barely able to move without hurting, and being wrinkly all over.


I have found that that lifestyle is not going to satisfy me. I want every single area of my life to bring me joy. I want to live humbly for my God's kingdom.

I can see myself having new experiences and meeting many new people who share my passion for Christ, and are more passionate. I can see myself being inspired by others around me, and inspiring others around me. I can see myself not living in good conditions and not having much money, but being so joyful nevertheless. I can see myself making lasting relationships with people I encounter in other countries. I can see myself exploring and being put in different cultures where I have to learn to adapt. I can see many tears brought to my eyes, but out of those tears, a joy that grows more and more through each trial. I can see being a part of a great movement that will spread. I can see myself speaking at least one different language to speak to other people of that language.
And I can see myself dying relatively young for working so hard for God.

I have much more of a desire for these things. I want to be put in situations where I will be humbled, and will become more obedient to Christ. I want to live in light of eternity...and not for this world that I perceive with my senses.

I want to step out of the lives that others have just continued from older generations...and I want to live for Christ, and Christ alone.
I want to learn to love Him so much, that nothing will take my eyes off of Him.

Though I have a long way to go, I am not discouraged...for since I have such a desire for this lifestyle, I am confident that eventually that desire will get me to where I want and need to be for my Father in heaven.

Update on Goals

So...at last, I reached my $600 goal!



It might not get up to $900 for a while though. I have to pay for my mission trip and what-not. =(
But hopefully I can accumulate lots of money over the summer.

Also, I completed something on my list of 2010 goals! See if you can find which one it is:

It was...

"Go on a road trip"! I went to Branson. =) It was a pretty fun trip. I didn't take many pictures, but I took quite a few videos. Maybe I'll post them on here sometime.

Also, I've been wanting to build up a new wardrobe. I've realized that all my shirts are like 2 years old or older. O_o I haven't went shopping for new shirts for a while. I bought one shirt today, but I'm very proud of my purchase. I've been showing it to everyone. Check it out:

Isn't it so fricken pretty?
I want to get more shirts that are artistic looking.
I got this one at T.J. Maxx for only $10.
It can be a weird store to shop at, but they have many different styles of clothing, and great prices. This shirt has good quality, I don't think it will be disappearing from my wardrobe anytime soon.

Tomorrow, I'll be able to complete another thing on my list! I'm going to complete, "Go to my favorite restaurant at the plaza."
Which is, "Fogo de chao"! I'm going with Christian and Madison Yoder. Madison and I memorized Philippians and Christian memorized James, so we were able to choose where we wanted to go. I chose that place last year, and it was amazing. I really wanted to go there with Christian, but it's so expensive, so I really wanted to go there again to spare us the money out of our own pockets. =P A huge thanks to my youth pastor, Darin Diggs for providing this opportunity!



Lastly, today I just submitted an application to work with Merge next Summer. I'm way ahead on that, says the director, but oh well. I'm excited to. =) I need to study up on Spanish, big time!

My Fascination

If you know me well enough, you know I have a fascination with antiques. I have a small collection of old things...but I'm not going to invest much in my collection for now since I'm saving up for a car.Sometimes I really wish I was born in those times where they had all that cool looking stuff, but then I realized if I was, I wouldn't appreciate that stuff as much. One day I want to travel places that have old architecture...the old European architecture is what I like the most. If a man were to take me to London, he would immediately have my hand in marriage. ;-) Hahaha. I'm too lazy to post my whole collection of stuff on here...but that camera is mine. =) Pretty sweet huh?

Goals for this year

I'm proud of this. Hahaha. I'll post on here whenever I've finished a goal on my list.

• Go to the International House of Prayer (Complete)
• Learn to drive
• Get a car
• Get a job that I enjoy (Complete)
• Memorize another book of the Bible (Complete)
• Go on another mission trip
• Go to a tropical climate for a vacation
• Go camping
• Meet new people (Complete)
• Go to my favorite restaurant at the plaza
• Go to New York city
• Get my own fishing pole and go fishing
• Get my own bow and arrows and learn archery
• Go to Acquire the Fire
• Go to Rock the Light
• See Deas Vail in concert
• See Owl City in concert
• Go to a dance (Complete)
• Play a sport I've never played
• Eat a type of food I've never eaten
• Go ice skating
• Go on a road trip
• Go to California
• Go to the zoo (Complete)
• Go to the Kansas City Symphony

Then I have this that I'm also proud of. I color in another tenth of the car whenever I've come up with another $300. I'm only at the $300 mark right now, but in a couple pay checks I should be able to fill in the $600 mark. I'll also update this on here. =)

Just some recent thoughts

Good morning, blog.

Yesterday, I was thinking of something that just blows my mind. I've thought of this a few times before.

Out of all the 195 countries (Yes, I googled that) that I could have been born in, I was born in the one that's the world, "super power". The one country that other countries rely on. The one country that has so much, yet so many depressed people. The one that has all different types of cultures.

I was born, literally, smack dab in the middle of this country.

I could have been one of the millions of babies that are aborted every year.

I could have been born in a communist country.

I could have been born in a third world country, where you're lucky if you even survive another day.

As a kid, I use to think, "Wow, out of all the insects and mammals there are, I was chosen to be apart of the dominant species." Of course, I didn't think that exact thing. I was a dumb kid. heehee. But seriously, I could have been one of the billions of other species of organisms in the world!

I could have been born as an alien in space (chuckle, chuckle) messing with peoples minds, talking in a strange language, and have big bulgy eyes.

It's amazing to think of all the other possibilities, yet I was born here.

I've always known God had a special plan for my life that he's going to carry out one day. I always felt I was made for big things. I know I can accomplish anything. Whenever I've set big goals for myself, I've intended on reaching them, and I have before. I admit, some of the goals I've set I've just given up on because of a loss of interest, but I know if I really wanted to do something, I could.

It gives me even more of a motivation if someone doesn't believe I can do something, because I can turn right around and do it to prove them wrong.

I do believe that, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

With this mind set, I believe God is going to do great things through me.

That is all.

Meaning behind the name

Hello all. I decided to make a blog that isn't limited to writing creatively, because recently I haven't been able to, sadly.
Anyways, I was originally going to call this blog, " A Wave Tossed In The Ocean" After the song, "Who am I" by Casting Crowns. Because that accurately describes all our lives in a way that we can relate to nature, and I loved that. Unfortunately, that was taken. I then was going to choose, "A Flower quickly fading." But, I didn't think that sounded creative enough. A flower doesn't really fade, speaking in real terms. It's interesting to picture a flower fading, but I wanted it to relate more to a common phenomenon in nature, such as a wave in the ocean, so instead I wanted to say, "Withering."
I changed, "Flower" to "Rose" because a flower is too general, and roses are my favorite flower because of their symbolism. So, no personal conceit there, I'm not comparing myself to the beautiful physical characteristics of the rose. ^_^ And I chose swiftly, because quickly just doesn't flow well enough...and swiftly sounds more poetic.

No, I do not plan on being an English teacher. Heehee.

Hopefully I'll get at least a couple readers. =(

And I put the cat on the hat on the side, because well, he's awesome. Dr. Seuss is da bomb. And maybe since I spiced up this blog a little, people will come back. ;-)